Babies + Humidity = Disaster

It’s hurricane season where I live, which means that our humidity is ridiculous right now. It’s 10pm and we have 94% humidity with only a 10% chance of rain. It’s like swimming through the air.

Poor L is miserable. He’s warm, sweaty, and super tired but too uncomfortable to sleep. He generally nurses to sleep most nights but I think the body heat is bothering him, which is throwing him all off track.

I just wish there was an easy way to help! We have air conditioning, but it really only reaches the living room because of the shape of our apartment. We have a fan going in the bedroom, but it doesn’t do as much as we would hope for moving the air around when it’s this dense.

We might have to have an adventure and sleep on the living room floor where it’s cooler. It’ll be like baby’s first sleepover – just in his own home!

Friday Favourites

I’m feeling especially sentimental today, so I figured I would share a few of my favourite things (in no particular order).

  • The way that L has absolutely no shame or baggage. It’s so cool to see how we all start as infants with no sense of embarrassment, as well as how much you’re willing to embarrass yourself as an adult to make a baby laugh!
  • The fact that somehow 2/3 of my bed is taken up by a 17-pound 6-month old. He’s a sprawler!
  • This sweet corn bread from High Heels and Grills. We made this and ate it alongside some pinto beans, and it was amazing. The perfect level of sweetness!
  • Stop making parenting so damn complicated – as a new(ish) mom, this post was perfect for me. We’re starting L on solid foods, and no matter how much research I do and things I store in my brain, I need to let go and just do what comes naturally. I’ve got a kid who’s already a good sleeper, a social butterfly, and a nursing champ. It’s better if I adapt to him than try to make him adhere to some arbitrary rules that will probably be disproven in a week anyway!
  • These Game of Thrones season 7 memes (spoiler alert if you haven’t yet watched the season!)
  • The early autumn weather. We’ve had a fairly mild/dreary summer and I’m ready to curl up in sweaters and hear the leaves crunch!

Strength in Motherhood

It’s odd, but I find myself much stronger since I’ve become a mother. Physically, yes – lifting a 17-pound baby constantly through the day does make a difference. But the bigger difference is in mental strength.

I have had family drama for as long as I can remember. I grew up in a household with an abusive father and a fairly dramatic extended family. Small tiffs turned into giant battles, and plenty of holidays and birthdays (including my 16th!) had some sort of argument and someone stomping out, too offended to stay.

I recently took a trip to visit my family. I live far from where I grew up, for reasons unrelated to my past (though the distance is a pleasant way of getting away from a lot of that). During the visit, my father insisted that his side of the family not visit me, as well as telling untrue stories about my teenage years. He also found a blog post from a previous blog where I talked about my past and explained what happened to me, and denied the entire thing to his family.

In all of this, I learned who I could and could not trust. The people who were around to see me are the ones I need in my life, and the ones I want to have an influence on my son and his life. It’s important to me that he never feels the anguish that I’ve felt for years – at least if I have any control over it. Because of this, I chose to remove a large number of people from my Facebook friends list – including his entire side of the family.

Will he find this blog? Maybe. Will it matter? Probably not. I’m done playing childish games and censoring myself because he might take offence. It’s silly that I can’t use my voice to tell my story without fear of some form of retribution.

I never would have taken these steps a couple of years ago. If it was only myself that I was worried about, I would just grin and bear it. But now that I have L, I can’t let myself be a figurative punching bag any longer. He deserves better than that.

A new kind of panic attack

I’ve been having panic attacks for a few years now. They’ve ranged from mild (some hyperventilating, some crying, some shaking) to extreme (hospital visits, losing focus to the point of not knowing who I am). However, the last couple days it seems I’ve discovered a new (to me) kind of panic attack.

My entire body goes numb. Not asleep, not tingly, just numb. Like I felt when I was having my C-section. I also get itchy, but I can’t feel relief from the scratching because it feels as though I’m scratching through five or six layers of clothing.

I think I’ll need to speak to my doctor about this at my next appointment. Tonight is the second night in a row, and the only thing that helped at all was sleeping and waking up to my brain having reset and forgotten how it was confused.

Anxiety disorders are fun.

Scheduling Conflicts

Poor little man has been thrown so off his game lately. We were travelling two weeks ago in a different time zone, which started the problem. (Side note: babies don’t do well even with an hour difference in time zones! A nap an hour later than normal throws everything off!)

Since being back, we’ve had exactly one day where he’s been on his normal schedule. We’ve had plans with M’s family – his sister was married on the weekend and needed some help with a few last preparations, and his brothers are in town which only happens once every few years. The last time the entire family was together was two years ago for our wedding, so we always try to make the most of it when we are in the same place at the same time.

Yesterday was the wedding, which involved a lot of running around and only about 10 minutes of napping for L. We started the day at the hotel, helping with makeup and flowers, then to the church for the ceremony, then to a local park for photos, then spending some time at a friend’s house while waiting for the reception. We left him with our friend for the evening and headed to the reception, but had to leave early because after he finally got some sleep, he woke up confused and in an unfamiliar place without mama. I can’t blame him, and our friend tried everything I could have suggested before asking us to come take care of him. He’s still young and after having such a long week, it’s no wonder he needed his normal sleep routine!

Today we headed to another friend’s house to play some cards, and all of the people and excitement kept him from napping once again. Luckily, the friend’s wife is a mom herself and recognized my need for some help. She helped me keep him entertained for a while and we were able to at least keep him relaxed and mostly happy.

Tomorrow is the last day of this madness. We’re heading to the in-laws’ place for gaming with his brothers and brother’s girlfriend before they all head back home. I’m hoping I can get the little guy to nap and relax there since it is a familiar place, but it’s always hard to tell.

Being a mom is hard enough – I’m ready to go back to trying to follow a routine and keep him happy without stretching his endurance to the limits!

Baby’s First Solid Foods

Tonight we went to a BBQ to celebrate the upcoming wedding of my sister-in-law and her fiancé. There was so much delicious food, and the company there was fantastic! It was nice seeing so many people come together to celebrate the wonderful couple.

Since L is turning 6 months on Saturday, his doctor told us at his last appointment that he’s cleared to eat pretty much anything he shows an interest in (except honey). This is so exciting, especially since he’s been interested in all of our food for about a month now!

We started him off slowly with some banana-flavoured rice crackers, which he handled pretty well. Tonight we decided to be a bit more adventurous and give him some savoury foods to try. We started with a wheat cracker, then offered him some grilled chicken, mozzarella cheese, and part of a snickerdoodle cookie. It was hilarious to see his reaction to all of these different foods, especially since he made the same face each time! It was a mix of confusion and disgust that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget.

Nobody warns you about these hilarious little moments in parenting. They don’t mention that every time you give your kid a new food for the first time, you will most likely crack up at the sight of the kid figuring out what they think of it. They don’t tell you that you’ll feel incredibly proud the first time he drinks from an actual cup (which L did tonight with a bit of my water!).

It’s these things in parenting that throw me for a loop. It’s all about routines – feed, change, sleep, bathe… but every once in a while an exciting new adventure begins and you get to see something different!

Hello, world!

There are few things as promising as a brand new blog. Off the top of my head:

  • A new notebook
  • A new planner
  • A new calendar

…seems I have a theme going.

Anyway, I’m A. I’m a mid-30s new mama with a wonderful 5-month-old boy (L), an amazing husband (M), and a love for all things geeky and nerdy.

I’m expecting to use this space as a personal diary of sorts. Life stories, random interesting bits of news, and any tips and tricks I learn along the way while I navigate this new world of parenthood!